Have you ever heard of “kick the cat syndrome”? My ex mother in law always used that expression and basically this is the gist of it: Dad has a bad day at work, maybe because his boss yelled at him, so he comes home and yells at Mom. She gets frustrated and has a short temper and yells at the oldest child, he gets frustrated and yells at the youngest. The youngest has no one below him, so he kicks the cat. I googled kick the cat syndrome yesterday and it’s very real.
Yesterday, it was very real in my life. My boss was on a rage. So, many things got directed at me. I’m pretty low on the food chain so I actually ended up yelling at my best friend at work. That never happens. I apologized profusely, then went to google to try to figure this out.
I didn’t deal well with the chain of events. Let’s just say that I’ve been broken down a bit. Thankfully mine didn’t carry over to home (I had done a lot of reading on it by then). But I acted in ways totally out of character for me.
We all handle stress differently. And today I strive to breathe. I strive to handle things better. I strive to talk it out. Not with abusers, but with those I love. I plan to make a plan. I hope to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
We are all human. The trick is to be non-reactive, be human, and to learn at every opportunity. Have you ever “kicked the cat”? Oh, and please note that I’m obviously not talking about a cat. Love your pets :-).
So sorry I was MIA yesterday! I was out of town with hubby and then super busy when we got home. Sorry yesterday was so horrible for you, too. This too shall pass, you learned from it, and this situation will soon be over for you! Breathe, and know I love you!
((((((((((((((((SIS))))))))))))))
First of all – this is a great topic. I think LOTS of people experience something similar but because of fear of work-place repercussions they don’t talk about it. So sorry for your very difficult day.
I used to work for a boss that did things abusive like that on a REGULAR BASIS. 7 secretaries had quit within a year because of his mean behavior. I was the staff writer/editor. So when the secretaries were gone he’d rant to me about how much he hated working with women and he’d brag that “all these jobs used to be filled by men.” One day, as I sat with my back to the door – typing away feverishly to meet my newsletter deadline – he actually stormed into my office and grabbed me from behind by both shoulders and began bearing his weight down on me. Turns out his boss (a woman) had just told him he wasn’t producing enough and he just came in and decided to take out his rage on me.
I wish I had the wherewithal back then to have made a joke about it. I mean, I could have said something like: “Can you massage a little more deeply to the right there?” I also think I might have done much better to just stand up and look at him directly in the eye. At the time, however, I felt so incredibly abused on that job – and being a single mom of 3 who was afraid of losing her job when it provided the only household income – I just sat there, absorbing all my boss’ toxic energy.
I honestly never have been someone to let manure ride down-hill beyond me though. (So I guess I’m immune to that ‘kick the cat’ syndrome.) I think it’s powerful that you caught yourself reacting to someone else’s issues and apologized for letting it happen.
The way I handled my crappy boss instead? I would talk to my coworkers about what happened and we always bonded over such situations. I also drank LOTS of mochas — something about chocolate and coffee really helped me cope; chemically. Then? While going on long walks NEVER helped me (sometimes I would try walking after work – might be gone for two hours so I wouldn’t bring all the crap home and I’d still feel angry later). What REALLY HELPED is the fact that I ride a Harley. Nothing is more therapeutic than getting onto a fast bike and going for a joy ride. There’s nothing better than feeling as though I’m really finally in full control of everything as my bike winds around curves and does everything I ask it to do. Riding a motorcycle makes me feel like I’ve outrun all the world’s problems and nothing really matters. I release my cares into the wind!
*GOOD MOVIES TO WATCH WHERE MEAN PEOPLE BITE THE DUST HELPS TOO
– “Let Me In” is a vampire horror where terrible abusive people seemingly get what they deserve; in the ending.
– Same thing with “Wicked Little Things” (where children who were used in slave labor in the coal mines turn into zombies and come back to destroy the greedy).