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My Truth

Last week, I was teetering on the edge.  I felt like I was going to break.  I felt like I was under so much pressure.  I seriously felt like that pressure was going to crush my soul.

Then Friday morning at work, I received the call.  The call that no-one wants to make, and no-0ne wants to receive.  My ex husband, my children’s father was on the line.  And he told me that his father was in an accident and I needed to get the children there quickly and safely.  It was bad, he said.

At that moment, no amount of stress or feelings of overwhelm mattered.  My ex and I were married for 12 years.  We were divorced 8 years ago.  Yet we have remained family.  I have remained relatively close with his family, and we’ve all gotten together for holidays.

My (ex) father in law’s name is Micky.  Micky is retired, but couldn’t NOT work, so he took an on-call position at the school district he worked for.  He was called in Friday to do janitorial work.  He headed to work with pride to do his job.  He was on his motorcycle and he struck a deer.  Within a mile of his home.  Micky was thrown a long way.  And yes, it was bad.  He has about 7 broken ribs, many broken in the front and back.  He has many fractured vertebra.  He has a broken shoulder blade.  In surgery, they repaired his liver, removed his pulverized spleen.  And he died 3 times on the table.  But it wasn’t his day.  His brain is good, his spinal cord is completely intact.  They are keeping him heavily sedated, and on a ventilator.  But they wake him twice a day.  He follows simple tasks.  He can move his hand on command, wiggle his foot, etc.  And last night they turned off the ventilator and he breathed on his own for 30 minutes.  He is too sedated to take completely off the ventilator.  But he is one hell of a fighter.

But this occasion… it has brought this family together.  We have all rallied around his wife, who he has been married to for over 40 years.  All 7 of Micky’s grandsons were there at the hospital.  We kept vigil and we walked back to his room 2 by 2.  We laughed, we cried.  We hugged, and we drew on each other’s strengths.

My truth was expressed to Micky’s wife.  Saturday morning.  There was an incident, over 6 years ago… and we were good afterwards.  We were good.  BUT… it had never been discussed.  I talked to her (probably unnecessarily, in her eyes, but I needed to talk), and I told her my truth.  I was heard.  So much love flowed from her to me.  So much love.  And a huge weight was lifted.

Once again, Micky brought this family together (he beat all odds after an accident 4 years ago as well).  We have already seen so many miracles.  We are now poised to see more.

What I’ve learned is… don’t underestimate the human spirit, and tell your Truth.

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I took a pledge…  a pledge to do something that scares me every day this week.  Because of the nature of the beast, I’ve gone bigger each day.  And each day I am scared out of my mind.  And I push through.  do you have any idea how empowering that is?  I urge you to push on through!  The feeling you will feel afterwards is a natural high that rivals no other!

My message was going to be longer.  But… I was struck by some news today.  A friend of mine had an accident on June 10.  She now has to wait for surgery until June 27.  In excruciating pain.  The newspaper article is here.  Christine is an artist, a dear friend, a member of my tribe.  I am trying to figure out a way to send a gift to her.  I will send a care package to her, and donate some money myself… but I want to ask you, as my community, is there more we can do?

Please leave me a message.  Let’s connect.  What can we do for Christine?

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