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More Truth

What I have these days is truth.  And for the most part, that truth is amazing.  Micky continues to progress.  There are miracles every day.  The truth is that he died 3 times on the operating table.  The truth is that the surgeons fought so hard to save him.  And they did such an amazing job.  My truth is that I lost my father a year and a half ago.  It would break my heart for my ex husband to have lost his last friday.  Our children lost one grandfather, and the truth is they are even closer to this one, since he has been in their lives from day one, and very actively so.  I am thankful with every ounce of my being.  Thankful for the surgeons, the doctors, the nurses, even the janitors who keep such a clean environment for him to heal in.

There is more to my truth.  My ex’s girlfriend is an RN at the hospital Micky is in.  And in the past, we have had our differences.  Our story has changed with this event.  I am so thankful for her.  She has been so helpful, so kind, and has kept us informed of every aspect of his care.  She calls me daily to update me, as I am 5 hours away.  At the end of the day, since last Friday, we are a supportive family.  And that family includes my love and my ex’s love.  My truth is that we are not a “normal” family.  But we have all learned to support one another.

My next truth is harsh.  Everyone asks why.  Why does something so bad happen to someone so good.  And Micky is good.  Always smiling, always hugging, always showing love.  But my truth is that I have seen so many miracles from this that I wonder if that’s why.  We all came together without question.  We rushed to each other’s sides.  We came together with open arms.  Every. Single. One. of us.  Micky is our patriarch and he would be proud.  In so many ways he and his wife made us who we are, as a unit.

Another truth?  This family bliss is new, and I am afraid.  What if we fall back to old patterns?  My pledge is to do my very best.  We have open communication right now.   I will do all I can to keep that.

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My Truth

Last week, I was teetering on the edge.  I felt like I was going to break.  I felt like I was under so much pressure.  I seriously felt like that pressure was going to crush my soul.

Then Friday morning at work, I received the call.  The call that no-one wants to make, and no-0ne wants to receive.  My ex husband, my children’s father was on the line.  And he told me that his father was in an accident and I needed to get the children there quickly and safely.  It was bad, he said.

At that moment, no amount of stress or feelings of overwhelm mattered.  My ex and I were married for 12 years.  We were divorced 8 years ago.  Yet we have remained family.  I have remained relatively close with his family, and we’ve all gotten together for holidays.

My (ex) father in law’s name is Micky.  Micky is retired, but couldn’t NOT work, so he took an on-call position at the school district he worked for.  He was called in Friday to do janitorial work.  He headed to work with pride to do his job.  He was on his motorcycle and he struck a deer.  Within a mile of his home.  Micky was thrown a long way.  And yes, it was bad.  He has about 7 broken ribs, many broken in the front and back.  He has many fractured vertebra.  He has a broken shoulder blade.  In surgery, they repaired his liver, removed his pulverized spleen.  And he died 3 times on the table.  But it wasn’t his day.  His brain is good, his spinal cord is completely intact.  They are keeping him heavily sedated, and on a ventilator.  But they wake him twice a day.  He follows simple tasks.  He can move his hand on command, wiggle his foot, etc.  And last night they turned off the ventilator and he breathed on his own for 30 minutes.  He is too sedated to take completely off the ventilator.  But he is one hell of a fighter.

But this occasion… it has brought this family together.  We have all rallied around his wife, who he has been married to for over 40 years.  All 7 of Micky’s grandsons were there at the hospital.  We kept vigil and we walked back to his room 2 by 2.  We laughed, we cried.  We hugged, and we drew on each other’s strengths.

My truth was expressed to Micky’s wife.  Saturday morning.  There was an incident, over 6 years ago… and we were good afterwards.  We were good.  BUT… it had never been discussed.  I talked to her (probably unnecessarily, in her eyes, but I needed to talk), and I told her my truth.  I was heard.  So much love flowed from her to me.  So much love.  And a huge weight was lifted.

Once again, Micky brought this family together (he beat all odds after an accident 4 years ago as well).  We have already seen so many miracles.  We are now poised to see more.

What I’ve learned is… don’t underestimate the human spirit, and tell your Truth.

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When I think about empowerment as I’ve experienced it in my own life, it has always been the direct result of telling my own Truth. The Truth that matters, the Truth that’s hard to speak, the Truth that, often, makes a few people look at me funny. Clearly, then, the empowerment I experience here has nothing to do with the response I am getting from outside of me. Instead, it comes from knowing that I am speaking from my core, from my deepest authenticity, and that is a portrait of me standing firmly in my power.

 

When I stand in my own power and speak my Truth, I gain a deeper sense of my own Integrity and Trust in my Self. Especially when the Truth is hard, but has to be spoken in order to protect a boundary in my own life. The person whose respect I need most in order to live a deeply fulfilling life, is me.  Self-respect is hard-earned.  When I speak my Truth as a way of respecting my Self, I am free to let go of what others think about me. At these moments, I know in my core that that is what I am here to do — to be unabashedly, freely, ecstatically ME. Not everyone will like it. Eyebrows will be raised, feathers will be ruffled, but I’ll try to keep my light shining. Because the people who I am meant to be with, work with, and love, will show up. Very often, these special people only show up in our lives when we show up for ourselves.

 

Truth resonates. It resonates within you, and it reverberates and ripples through the Universe where it meets up with Universal Truth. It does this little ecstatic dance and sends itself off to the person who needs your resonance right NOW. Do you know that moment where someone seemingly random tells you about a book you were secretly considering reading? Or mentions there’s a workshop next week on something that you’ve only just become interested in? And you’ve not spoken a word of it to anyone? That is an experience of resonance. Your thing and my thing (or his thing and her thing) get together and go on a date. We may never meet but energetically we have connected. Your resonance with my thing lights you up. Your resonance lights someone else up. Someone else comes back to me and says “Wow, that resonates!” and I get started on my Truth cycle all over again. Truth is THAT powerful. Truth serves and honors not just your Self, but the World.

 

Many people tell me they feel they don’t know themselves very well, and they ask me: How can I find out who I really am? How can I know my Truth to speak it? If I had one tip to give, aside from signing up for Robyn’s course, it would be this: write three pages of longhand meditative writing every morning. Do it. It tells your Voice and your Truth that you are serious about listening for it. It cannot help but show itself when you give it a place to be.

 

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Sara Thibault is a word-slinger and Truth-warrior who also happens to assist healers and creatives in telling their soul’s story via the web & social media. She blogs her own self-love manifesto at soulspackle.com.

If you would like to share what empowers you, please send your submission to robyn@empoweredlife.biz

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