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Posts Tagged ‘survival mode’

Twelve days.  Twelve days ago I started having a little tickle in my throat.  The tickle turned into a cough.  Cough turned into a fever, complete congestion, tiredness, exhaustion, and finally, feeling like I simply was not going to make it.

Today is the first day that I have felt human.  The first weekend, I slept for 40 hours straight.  I haven’t been able to blog, I haven’t been able to move forward with my business.  I still went to work, but there were very few days I finished.

I went into survival mode.

I did not thrive.

I felt pitiful.

I was exhausted.

I coughed all night most every night.  I didn’t rest.

But guess what?

Twelve long days later, and I’m back!

During those 12 days, I dreamed, I hoped.  I even did some planning.

No follow through, mind you, because I had nothing to give.  but I survived.

And now?

Now I hope to do more than survive.  I hope to thrive.

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The events of the past few months have drained me.  Personal meltdown, family emergencies, traveling, medical issues and a ton of work stress.  It was all too much.  I did what anyone would have done.  I treaded water.  I made it through.  I went into survival mode.  I didn’t thrive, I didn’t excel, I survived.

Friday was a day off, and I’ve now had time to breathe, so we decided to head to the coast.  The ocean has always been healing to my soul.  We stayed with family, and we had a wonderful visit.  Saturday we spent time walking along the beach, even venturing a bit into the water.  I absorbed the energy of the sea.  I took some photos.  I breathed.  I felt the weight leave me.

We had a leisurely drive home, I got some free paperbacks from a coastal library.  We got our grocery shopping done on the way home.  Saturday evening and all of Sunday I’ve dedicated to be a balance of breathing and creating.  I’m primarily working on catching up.  I’ve checked some major things off of my to-do list.  Making space to thrive, to excel.  I’m ready to do more than survive.

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