Posts Tagged ‘2010’

Grief Rolls in. Times 3

2010 was an amazingly challenging year for my family.  Dad’s death in February seemed to be a catalyst for so much.  His death pulled some of us together, it ripped some of us apart.  We figured out how to cope (or not, in some cases), and we moved forward with our lives.  28 days later, though, I received the 2nd of the phone calls I would receive in 2010.  THE phone call, you know?  28 days after Dad passed, his wife of 28 years died suddenly.  Dad and Toni had been married for 28 years, and the doctors say she died from a broken heart.

I received the call at about 10pm.  I knew before I fell back asleep that I simply couldn’t do it.  I could not make the 15 hour drive so soon after all the time I had already taken off work.  Physically, I didn’t see how it would be possible.  Emotionally, I had no doubts that it was absolutely impossible.

After Dad died, I would call Toni frequently.  She was my link to Dad.  She told me things that I wouldn’t have otherwise known.  I held on to every bit of information like I was starving for it.  And now she was gone.  I grieved for Toni.  I grieved for Dad.  I couldn’t make the trip, I just couldn’t.

That was in March.  At the end of September, I got the third call.  My brother’s wife, Misty, had died.  My heart couldn’t comprehend the pain that my brother must have felt.  He was left with 3 children, and the love of his life was gone.  I reeled, just as every member of the family did.

We buried 3 of our people in 2010.  Each one completely reopened the wounds again.  The grief rolled in, over and over.

We held one another, we made numerous calls across the states, we kept a constant vigil, trying to grasp the pain each person felt, trying to hold on tight so as to not “lose” another.

It says a lot, I believe, that we survived that.  We still call one another for those “welfare checks”… wanting nothing more than to hear their voice and FEEL that they are ok.  The reality is that 2010 changed us all forever.  We have wounds that have morphed into deep scars.  Those will always be there.  As I type that, it occurs to me that scar tissue is stronger than the surrounding flesh.


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